08
Aug
11

Stranger Danger

when it comes to avoiding weirdos, are you smarter than a 5th grader?

EBONY
By Eric Easter

 In my East Coast all boys high school there was a known pedophile among the football coaches. His predilections were acknowledged openly by the victims’ brothers, several of whom also attended the school. All of us on the sports teams he coached knew it, as did the students in the academic classes he taught.

I’ve talked to many of my former classmates about this over the years and one troubling similarity comes out –  none of us ever said anything. Not to the principal. Not to our parents. At that point, most of us had long ceased communicating trouble – or anything else for that matter – at home. Not to mention that the guy was the coach and the one teacher you had to pass to graduate. We didn’t want to cross him in fear of not getting into college.

Stories like that happen to hundreds, maybe thousands of people each day. Both the weirdness and the silence. People around us exhibit bizarre, sociopathic, dangerous and otherwise anti-social behavior and we take much of it in stride, as long as they don’t get too close to us personally. The people become the subject of jokes, rumor and happy hour talk, but too rarely police reports.

In the best cases, those people go away to bother someone else. In the worst cases, we have Columbine, Virginia Tech, postal rages and the hundreds of cases of missing adults that have become the lifeblood of the 24-hour news networks.

What is perhaps most striking is the dramatic difference between our lackluster response as high school students versus what it certainly would have been had we been in kindergarten. At a mall in Washington DC I once saw a three-year-old girl who was separated from her mother. As adults gathered to help her and ask her name, she yelled at the top of the lungs, “Stay back! You’re not my Mommy!” Good for her. Her screaming and the scene she caused was much more effective than any random search effort for her mother.

With the help of media, we have now institutionalized the system of child protection. What parents don’t teach, schools reinforce, and a whole new market of stranger danger videos drill in with emphasis. The irony here, of course, is that according to the Center for Missing and Exploited Children, the vast majority of children who are kidnapped are actually abducted by family members or people known to the family, not complete strangers. Still, the end justifies the means.

But after a certain age, generally around 13, we begin to abandon the natural parental instinct to instill fear in our children of other people, and start re-prioritizing danger from the people they meet to the things they do – driving, skateboarding, drinking, freak dancing. At that point, we treat our children’s dealings with people as part of the socialization process. When faced with troubled personal relationships, we too often offer advice on how to get along, and not how to screen, avoid and emphatically end those relationships.

By late high school and certainly by college, the die is cast. We let our loved ones go with a “be careful” and a silent prayer. The screening of friends ceases and an illogical trust in common sense prevails.

To continue reading the article click here

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01
Aug
11

Why You Must Confront Your Weakness

Strengths vs. Weaknesses

by: Justin Tillman

In the last post I spoke about identifying your strengths. In order to find your purpose, it’s important to identify the things in which you are naturally good at because we all have different intelligences, strengths that make us unique.

Along with finding your strengths, it’s equally important to identify your weaknesses.

See in school we are taught to identify our weaknesses, and then turn those weaknesses into strengths so that we will become a well rounded person. At school if we got 3 A’s and 2 B’s, this would be a good indicator that you were on your way to success. However, think about that poor kid who got 1 A and 3 C’s and 1 D, he was thought to be prepared for a rocky road ahead.

Now take a step into the future a couple decades later, after the school days straight into the real word and take a close look at how you make the majority of your important decisions. Think about the doctor you searched for, the accountant you choose or the lawyer you picked. You and I, look for the people who are the best at what they do, which typically tends to be their profession.

We have absolutely no interest at all with the things that we don’t need them to do well in, right? How often do you think, before I hire my accountant I’m going to make sure he A’ced biology? I’m willing to bet, never.

See, I believe that it’s totally cool from a personal growth prospective to improve yourself in areas in which you are weak. There is certainly an intrinsic value to becoming a well rounded person, the rewards that you will received from overcoming your weaknesses will be an intangible sense of peace, happiness and fulfillment.

However, for the prospective of finding your purpose and living life on your terms by doing what you love, it’s critical to give up going through another precious moment of life struggling to strengthen yourself in areas in which you are weak.

Diversification Makes You Mediocre

Hardworking and motivated people, love the concept of diversification because it’s a natural outlet to plug into and frankly it feels the like the right thing to do. Even if they are tirelessly spinning their wheels as they drain their energy focused on doing things that they are not naturally good at.

Most people have developed a negative perspective about their weaknesses. They feel ashamed for not being able to perform at a well in areas in which they are weak. Being ashamed about something tends to lead to guilt. Guilt is something hard to forget and even more difficult to let go.

So as a natural response to dealing with their guilt about not being strong in a particular area people will ignore this fact and continue to try and compete against others who are much naturally stronger.

As opposed to letting go of doing things they are not naturally good at, people have made it easier to be mediocre then to confront reality and admit that we might never be good at something.

If you continue to hold this perception about your weaknesses than you will never reach your full potential.

 

To view the rest of this article, click here.

30
Jul
11

SLICE OF LIFE: The 12 Women Men Want To Date

 VIA SHY MAGAZINE:
Finding a good woman these days isn’t always easy, especially in an era when members of the female gender appear self-centered and “empowered” to sex-ploit the male population. Still, there are a lot of good women out there, even though it’s not always easy to find them.It’s time to examine the kinds of women you should actively be looking for – here’s a list of women with traits that would make any guy happy:

Miss Sweet
Miss Sweet is a woman who’s positive, content with her life, always upbeat – and just a blast to be around. She’s a genuine person without a bitch bone in her body. She’s always truly happy to see you and you find yourself looking forward to spending time with her. Miss Sweets are usually snapped up out of the dating market right away, so they’re pretty rare. But if you can find one, you’ve got a real treasure on your hands.

Miss Equality
This type of woman is a true feminist – not one of the radical man-haters, or the hypocritical pseudo-feminists who think that equality means “I demand equal rights and an equal salary, but a man still has to pay for me.” The Miss Equalitys of the world genuinely like men, and understand that equality means equality across the board, from holding the door open to fighting on the front lines. They believe that a relationship should be a 50/50 partnership, and are more than willing to shoulder their half of the responsibilities and dating expenses – just because it’s the right thing to do.

Miss Sexual
You should be so lucky to encounter one of these! Miss Sexual loves men and loves sex – and makes no bones about it. She’s not selling it, she’s not using it as a tool to manipulate men – she just naturally craves it. Miss Sexual is not to be confused with a nymphomaniac, who suffers from psychological problems – rather, she has somehow bypassed the female societal training of auctioning off the use of her vagina to the highest bidder. For this reason, most other women hate her, because she’s giving it away free of charge. But men love her because she’s a free spirit who’s actually honest about her sex drive. Very rare, but worth searching the ends of the earth for.

Miss Best Friend
Closely aligned with Miss Sweet, Miss Best Friend is another joy to be around. She’s the kind of woman you’re totally in sync with – you like the same things, watch the same TV shows, enjoy going to the same places. You can spend five minutes with her and think you’ve known her for years. She’s always on your side, laughs at all your jokes, and calls you just to say “hi” because she genuinely misses you. She’s great just to hang with. A word of warning, though – with Miss Best Friend, you have to make your sexual interest known from day one because if she gets it into her head that you are going to be “just friends,” it’s almost impossible to change her mind.

To continue reading the article click here

29
Jul
11

Wet Pillows, Dry Sheets…

Wet Pillow, Dry Sheets

by: Michael Hall

I know now that my life is not complete

wet pillows and dry sheets

my heart is telling me to speak

but my mind is making me weak

i know right now i need you here

to look into the windows where your soul appears

see you smile when i awake to you

let me tell you the things i want to do

i know you think its all about making love to you

sexing you and tasting you are the pleasures too

its more about pleasing you in other ways

notes in the morning just to brighten your day

calls for no reason when i have nothing to say

just to hear you breathe or run your fingers through my hair

i figure that in life most people feel incomplete

how do you think i feel with wet pillows and dry sheets

that means some of my needs may need to be met

i cant do it alone these pillows have its own moan

if my sheets could speak it would be silence

awake to me to speak to me

and the moment you can hear me

let your body communicate with me

turn off your mind and let your heart yell at me

because i am sure the mention of a whisper is telling me it loves me

Michael Hall

wet pillows, dry sheets™

michaelhall™

drama990 the intro™

26
Jul
11

5 Ways to Reignite Your Sex Life

Realbeauty.com

When it comes to a flagging sex life, complacency creates more complacency, doesn’t it? Ignite new energy into a long-term relationship or marriage with these easy tips.
1. Send him sexy text message. Can’t think of something seductive to write? Try “C U 2nite. Pants optional” or treat him to a naughty photo.

2. Wake up and do it. Men’s testosterone peaks between 7 and 8 a.m. so take advantage of this fun fact and have sex with him a few minutes after the alarm goes off so you have a chance to wake up a bit before getting it on.

3. Imagine an afternoon delight. Pretend that you and your husband had the chance for a mid-day sex session. Fantasize about where you’d go and what you’d do then share your vision with him. Even if you never get the chance to make it happen, it’s fun to talk about your daytime romp.

 

4. Serve yourself for dessert. It sounds silly and cheesy because it is. But it can also be really fun and flirty. Try feeding each other juicy fruit like peaches, strawberries, or melon. Grab some yummy ice cream toppings from the kitchen such as whipped cream and chocolate syrup and turn your body into the sexiest sundae he’s ever seen.

To find out what number five is click here

26
Jul
11

I’m Not Your Superwoman

by Aja Dorsey Jackson

Last week both of the kids and I became sick with the flu. They were sick first, but of course by the time they were back to running and playing, I felt like I had been hit by a truck and was fighting the worst version of the flu I’ve ever experienced. By Tuesday I had a temperature of 104, but I still felt like it was extremely important that I get the mud spots out of the carpet that someone had tracked into the basement. As I was on my hands and knees scrubbing, feeling like I was somewhere between throwing up and passing out, I heard a little voice say “Why don’t you just go sit down somewhere?

Since I was sick enough to be hearing little voices, I took the voice’s advice. I stopped feeling bad about staying home from work and using my sick days. I watched my son engage in his favorite activity, which is making sure that everything that is not on the floor ends up on the floor, and made no movement to try and stop him. I let my husband pile up dishes beside the sink like they were going to disappear via magic dish fairy and looked at them and went to sleep. I called my sister and asked if she could bring tea and juice and she did. I scaled down to the most essential parts of my mommy/wife job description and did as close to nothing as possible until I got well and did not feel bad about it.

Today I feel better and learned a valuable lesson from being sick; I don’t have to do it all. The world did not stop turning without me. When I couldn’t do things, the people around me became resourceful and handled them on their own. The other things could wait until I got better.

There are so many songs about being Superwomen that being able to juggle 100 different things and doing it all has become a source of pride……

Click here and read more

26
Jul
11

DAD: The First “Man” She’ll Ever Have

by Eric Payne

During a recent trip to my hometown Chicago, a fraternity brother planned a hang-out: dinner at a Mexican restaurant at Navy Pier with views of downtown Chicago’s skyline, followed by a boat ride on Lake Michigan complete with a fireworks show launched from the water.

Our evening began at 7 p.m. I dressed up a pair of jeans with one of my favorite button-down shirts. I didn’t have to considering I was heading to a tourist destination, but I wanted to. I was out on the town and I was bringing my baby with me. Because we were going to be on the water I suggested she wear jeans also. She chose a pretty white shirt dotted with colorful butterflies and a jean jacket to complete her look.

Fast forward a couple of hours: midway through the boat ride and prior to the fireworks, she was curled up in a ball on my lap, siphoning off as much heat as she could from me. Quiet as kept, I was freezing in my favorite button-down shirt doing my best to absorb the little amount of heat she was generating as well.

After an evening of holding open doors, paying for food, holding hands, fireworks and having great conversation it suddenly dawned on me—my five year old daughter and I were on a date. Not “playtime,” someplace where kids go, but legitimately out on the town where I would normally take my wife. I leaned over into my little one’s ear and told her, “You know we’re on a date, right?”

“I know, Dad,” she answered, calmly.

To read the rest of the article click here




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