Deaf Ears: I’m Just Not Interested

Deaf Ears

 

Ever made eye contact with someone in the club, supermarket, church, wedding, etc, and when your eyes met and you just knew they were the one? Felt love at first sight? You’ve been praying for “the one” to come along and you figured, God has finally answered your prayers? Stopping dead in your tracks, you pinch yourself to see if it’s real.  Yeah, it’s probably happened to more than half of us.

Everyone wants to loved, or at least liked, but what happens when the person you are really interested in, really has no interest in you? There are the subtle hints of eye contact and then the smiles. Finally, somebody has to make the first move like a champion chess player. After the initial introduction, numbers are exchanged.  Walking away with your sly grin, you’re thinking to yourself, “Yeahhhhhh!” Upon first thought, you start visualizing what you and your new “friend” will talk about, where you will go on your first date, things you have in common, etc. Some will even think about the introduction to the family, the ladies and the homeboys.  Slow your mind down. You have to make it pass round 2: The first phone call.

It’s been 3 days and the phone hasn’t rung. You convince yourself that your friend is busy at work, but no doubt, that phone will be ringing soon. You keep busy, trying not to think why you haven’t heard from that person, but when you’re still, you’re thinking (oh wait is that just me??) You scroll through your phone and remember that you have their number too. You decide to make the first move. You text them! (Its 2011, we don’t do phone calls…..if that doesn’t work, FB or Twitter). But that’s another story. Your message is innocent, “Hi this is Leslie; Hi this is Corey; and I met you at the club the other night, and I was just sending a text to say hello.” You hit send. Now that you have taken the first step, the ball is no longer in your court. You wait with anticipation for a reply. Every notification that comes in is from someone you don’t want to talk to. Hours go by… You check your outbox to make sure it was sent…yeah it was (some of us are doing it now, just like when we get the disconnected tone, and we what?? Double check..Yo it’s disconnected).  It’s now been 24 hours and no response, phone call, nothing.  Second attempt to make it out of round 2, you text again and say, “Hey, it’s me. I know you are probably busy, but I was just hitting you up to say hello”.  You leave it there, hoping for feedback. You play with your phone and make sure there’s nothing wrong with the text or the ringtone…Perfect!!

A week has passed and nothing.  No hi, bye, nothing.  For your final push in this race you say, “Okay, apparently you are too busy for me, I was just checking on you, take care!” Finally a response comes back….but not necessarily the one you are looking for…The message reads, “Who is this????” Now with the boo-boo the fool face, you’re ready to go off at the drop of a dime on a person that you don’t know from a can of paint. You rant and rave, while the person is simply clueless. Why? Because he or she doesn’t remember you! They don’t remember getting your number. While you were busy picking your wedding colors, they were busy taking up storage space in their phone. You made a stranger a priority, and they made you an option. Now every time you’re in the spot where you met that person, you’re checking for them; not a good look.  It’s borderline stalking.  When you do see them again, the evil eyes come out and you’re watching for every person they come in contact with. Somewhat jealous, but would still like to talk them and figure out why they never called. If the person approaches you, you’ll say this and maybe that, all just to get revenge on someone you don’t even know. Move on, your argument will only be foolish because it will fall on deaf ears and that’s because sometimes people just aren’t interested…

 

Keisha Kelly

By: Keisha J Kelley (Diva Kellz)

BS Psychology Southern University A & M College

MBA UOP

Sound-Off: I’ll Marry You, But I’m Hyphenating My Name

 By Janelle Harris

 

Your boo dropped to one knee. He rocked the proposal. Your friends have inspected the ring. Your family has bum-rushed the wedding planning. And all the hubbub that goes along with preparing for marriage is in full swing, but there’s another question to be popped: to hyphenate the last name or not to hyphenate?Ladies, take your positions.After a year and a half together, my man and I are in early negotiations — that contemplative “what-if” stage that places the relationship in front of a firing squad of random questions. One of those chats kicked up dust as we talked about my dreams of finishing (which means I’d actually have to start) my PhD within the next five years.

In the midst of my daydreaming, I took my would-be hyphenated last name for a test drive. “Dr. Janelle Harris-Williams,” I swooned. Boyfriend jutted his bottom jaw, a habit he has when he’s about to serve up a verbal smackdown. “Harris-Williams!” he snorted. “I think you mean Dr. Janelle Williams.”

From what I gather via his sarcastic remark, the idea of me tacking his last name onto the one I already have is offensive. That two-part surname — according to him — says I’m wishy-washy about my commitment and is a neon flashing sign that I’m not ready to leave my family to be a wife.

Heck with all that. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no level-headed reason why a woman should have to abandon her born-and-bred last name in order to prove her fidelity and allegiance to her man. None whatsoever. The concept is as archaic and patriarchal as, oh, I don’t know, forgoing your dreams to be an apron-sporting housewife or dumbing down your intelligence and success to appease your dude’s fragile ego. Fail.

According to the 2010 Real Weddings Survey released by The Knot, only 6 percent of newlywed women opted to hyphenate their names — the same number reported on the stats from the prior year. Of the roughly 20,000 brides polled, responses overwhelmingly favored taking their hubby’s name, to the tune of 86 percent.

It’s not necessarily a fire-hot trend. I’m in a bit of a minority. At least I’m not flying completely solo. Many of us who have worked hellishly to build up some steam in our respective careers have, at the very least, professional grounds to hold on to our original surnames. If Jada Smith or Carol Braun were headliners for an event, the crickets would be chirping and we’d gloss over them like they were as generic and nondescript as Jane Jones. But add the “Pinkett” or the “Moseley” respectively, the bells and whistles of familiarity go off and the general public might contemplate going to whatever shindig they’re pushing. Might.

 

 

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