Sacrificing for the Dream – Black Fathers…

Sacrificing for the Dream – Black Fathers…
May 3, 2011 by Staff
Filed under Brothers Corner, Fatherhood, News, Opinion, Relationships, Weekly Columns

(ThyBlackMan.com) There are many perspectives on the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Perspectives about which we continue to explore, write and speak. Pastor of the people, Philosopher of non-violence, Ph.D. in theology, Peacemaker of Nobel Prize quality, Protester of racial injustice, Councilor to Presidents and a Promoter of economic equality; responsibilities he shared not only for people of color, but for people of all color.

A Father’s Dream

And in all that I’ve stated we often miss a foundational part of who this man was. He was a father to his children. He was a father who had a dream for his children. And in his own words he said, “I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but the content of their character.” His dream simply stated -that his children would have a better quality of life than he had experienced. But, this father didn’t just dream it, he gave his life to see that dream fulfilled.

Dr. King pursued this dream because the conditions of the time were unacceptable for him, his children and his people. A time not so far in the distant past but has become a forgotten nightmare for many of our current generation. We cannot forget that there was a time our children would not be served at certain restaurants. We cannot forget that there was a time our children did not have access to the best education. We cannot forget that there was a time separate drinking fountains and restrooms were mandated by law. We cannot forget “Colored balconies” in movie theaters. We cannot forget there was time that our children had to sit in the back of the bus. We cannot forget there was a time that soldiers had to be ordered to protect little children who were trying to go to a “better” school. We cannot forget because these hidden attitudes of inequality and inhumanity still exist.

Dr. King and many others shared that same dream and took a non-violent but opposing stand against the social injustices to pursue the dream for themselves and their children. In the face of personal, lost through violence sparked by racism and discrimination, they stood. In the face of the lynchings, the imprisonment, the crushing blow of water from fire hoses, the terror of attack dogs, death threats, firebombs, burning crosses, harsh and inhumane insults, fists of fury, nightsticks and guns. They stood not only for themselves but also for the future generations, their children.

They demanded better for their children. They were ready to pay the price. They understood the far-reaching impact of injustice and wanted it stopped right there, right now.

Today our children are in crisis. We see a generation whose identity is dictated by a culture who is searching and never finding themselves, never finding a purpose that is not fleeting. And the results are catastrophic. From ages eight and eighteen we see increases in school absenteeism and drop outs, sexually transmitted diseases, children having children, succumbing to the lure of alcohol and drug abuse, emotional problems that lead to gang affiliation, senseless violence and suicide. We cry out, “What is happening to our children?”

Sacrificing for the Dream

We should then ask “What will we do about it?” Do we want better for our children? Are we ready to pay the price? Are we fed up with social mayhem? Sacrifice is the forfeiting of something highly valued for the sake of one who is to have greater value.

Many of us agree that the greatest demonstration of love is for someone to sacrifice his or her life for another. But these sacrifices must not largely involve money or material goods but a heart that is turn to the children. The increase of father absence is evidence that many are choosing instead to sacrifice their children. We must get a vision for a new dream.

The first dream of the civil rights movement we must continue to pursue. But we must also pay heed to a second dream. Because if this second dream is not envisioned and fulfilled then their will be no one to enjoy the rights attained by the first. It is like the saying, “What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” Exactly, what good is it to a man to gain the benefits of civil rights if they cannot be passed on to the next generation?

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Claim Your Victory: Ten Principles to Get the Life You’ve Always Wanted

 

ESSENCE

T.D. Jakes can’t remember a time when he wasn’t in church on New Year’s Eve for Watch Night Service. Those moments of reflection and rejuvenation continue to serve him today in his role as a preacher and counselor to individuals and families facing every imaginable issue.

Among the valuable lessons the popular spiritual leader and senior pastor of The Potter’s House in Dallas says he has learned: A crucial part of spiritual growth is understanding which people and situations we must leave behind, lay aside, and let go of in order to move forward. “The folding of one year into the next is a prime opportunity to contemplate what we should keep and what to cast off,” says Jakes, 49. “How do we unload baggage that, in some perverted way, has become a constant friend? How do we create less stress and gain more clarity and a greater resolve?” In an exclusive year-end message just for you, Jakes offers ten solutions that will help you banish the thoughts and feelings that can block many of us from living more rewarding lives.

LOVE YOURSELF

Loneliness is rooted in a lack of intimacy with yourself. Loneliness is also rooted in the myth-bought into by far too many women-that having someone ensures you’ll never be lonely. It ensures no such thing. Mates leave, they die, they change. Even if you end up with a life partner, saddling one person with the responsibility for making you happy is a weight that can break that person’s back. If you’re in turmoil, and someone else enters that atmosphere, they join the turmoil. So we’ve got to stop indulging these false perceptions of happily ever after. Spend more time alone with yourself, being introspective, meditating, truly getting to know the woman you are. That’s the only way out of loneliness into your very own joy. You don’t have to be in a personal, intimate relationship with a man to have a significant life. Find fulfillment in giving to other people, serving the community, the environment, animals, God’s creations. Get a life.

KNOW THAT YOU MATTER

Self-loathing is subtle, stealthy, evil. When we were children, someone may have told us, “You’re dumb. You’re stupid. Why aren’t you more like your brother or your sister?” We were compared with someone’s ex-girlfriend or ex-wife. As a result, we end up thinking everyone else is wonderful. You must stop fixating on yourself in this manner. Spend time on the inner woman, the woman God wants you to see. God will show you your unhealthiness, your mis-perceptions about yourself. You will begin giving yourself permission to think you’re important too.

LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST

Do not make your healing from long-held insults and injury contingent upon someone acknowledging the harm she’s done to you. That may never happen. If someone else’s apology is a prerequisite for your healing, you may never get well. You can be healed, whether or not you get a formal apology. And that is your choice. Holding on to past hurts only eats up energy better spent elsewhere.

OWN YOUR FINANCIAL POWER

Many of us have not been taught commonsense investing. Too often we choose clothing, cars, food and fun over real estate, stocks, annuities and other goods that, in the long run, tend to accrue value. In this time when many women are primary breadwinners, it’s essential to be savvy about money. Identify financial habits that are taking you down, see them as the enemy, and wipe them out. As the saying goes, “God bless the child that’s got [her] own.” Fund your future by investing regularly, even if it’s in modest amounts.

HONOR YOUR ‘ME’ TIME

Busyness is sometimes born of arrogance: “Yes, I can be everything to everybody.” Our lives, like plants, keep growing and growing. But one must exercise discretion. An exhausted, worn-out woman is no earthly good to herself or anyone else. You need time to recoup and regroup, or you will end up depleted, dysfunctional, moody, unhappy and hard to be around. We’re finite resources. Learn to relax. Take some “me” time, without any guilt. All of nature teaches us that we need to recuperate. Leaves turn brown in the fall. Sap runs down the tree in the winter so that spring can come again.

PRIORITIZE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS

FOCUS ON YOUR PURPOSE

REVEL IN YOUR SUCCESSES

MAKE PEACE WITH YOUR FAMILY

CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE

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